Who this is for
Who this guide is for.
This guide is about grief, for the people we lose and for a way of life that is changing. Here is who it suits, who it does not, and who you will be talking to.
It is for you if
- Someone has died: a parent, partner, friend, sibling, child, colleague, or a pet
- You are grieving a way of life: the work you knew, the place you grew up, the world as it was
- You were taught to carry grief rather than feel it
- You want someone to listen without trying to fix it
It is probably not for you if
- You need a bereavement counsellor or a therapist
- You are thinking of harming yourself. Go to the help page now
- You want to be told when it will stop
It is not a bereavement counselling service, a therapist or a crisis line, and it will not pretend to be.
Who you will be talking to
On paper, I will not suit everyone. In person, I seem to do well. I am a former headhunter, not a doctor, a therapist or a guru. I spent nearly twenty years sitting across a table from men at the moment their lives were changing, and the job was to listen properly and tell them the honest thing, even when it was not what they came in for.
This site is the nearest I can get to that table, for any man anywhere in the world. The replies come from an SI (super intelligence) guide that works from my notes and my voice. It is not me typing, and it will never pretend to be.
If you want a polished brochure, a ten-step plan, or somebody to tell you that you are right, I am probably not your man. If you want somebody straight with you, who will not flatter you and will not panic on your behalf, pull up a chair.
Still here?
Then this is probably your place. Say where you are, in your own words, and take it one question at a time.
Written by James Roberts, with help from AI.